"Battlefield: Earth" is the thirty-ninth chapter of The Last Son, Book Three: Changes.



Martian Manhunter: As I understand it, humans tend to express love physically. Martians, however, tend to do so psychically.
'Mystique: How…how the HELL did any of you ever leave the bedroom?
Martian Manhunter: With great difficulty, my love.

General Zod: I must say, I was surprised at how willingly both sides were willing to put their differences aside…although I suppose having a StarSmasher aimed at you does tend to make one more reasonable. Perhaps we should have pointed one at the Kree and Skrull homeworlds years ago, and avoided this whole conundrum.

Seerow: Commander El…General Zod…I-I don't really know what gods exist, anymore – or even IF they exist – but if they do, I pray that they be with you both for what you must now do.
General Zod: The gesture is appreciated, Lieutenant, but I would ask that you save your prayers for those who need them. Like our enemies.

Quicksilver: Pietro, my is name hi!
Crystal: What?
Quicksilver: I mean, hi, my name is Pietro!

Flash: I hear we've got incoming!
Quicksilver: Gee, ya think? At least try and keep up, slowpoke!
Flash: Whatever, Twinkle-Toes.

Leviathan: For future reference, 'Nita…if I ever ask your cousin to use me as a cannonball…talk me out of it, will you?

Veranke: You have but one chance for survival: surrender this outpost to me immediately.
Power Girl: Up yours, you barf-green bitch.
Veranke: You DARE?
Power Girl: You bet your pompous ass we dare! The people of Krypton have never and will never yield to your kind of tyranny…and neither will the people of Earth!
Namor: Arthur, I do like how your friend's paramour makes enemies for us.
Aquaman: Yeah, like you'd have said anything different.
Kl'rt: Then know this, half-breed: on this day, you have condemned every being on this planet to DEATH! Beginning with YOU!.

Boom Boom: You may be a snobby, egocentric control-freak with major Daddy-issues, but you're our snobby, egocentric control-freak with Daddy-issues, LeRoux.

Iceman: I don't know what'll kill me first: Kree lasers or Thor's congratulations

Wolverine:' I'd put that gun down if I were you, bub, or you're gonna be in a world of hurt. Skrull: You are in no position to make threats, genetic aberration! Wolverine: Never said I was. It ain't me you gotta worry about. That human you shot? He wasn't just trying to save Solovar. He was gettin' his game-face on.
The Skrull turns around to see the Hulk)

Hulk: What Hulk smash next?

Hellion: Cripes, Dukes, ever think of laying off the burgers?
Blob: What? I'm a growing boy!

Chloe Sullivan: First alien invaders, and now Greek myths?
J. Jonah Jameson: Only in New York, Sullivan; only in New York.

Batman: I take it Sun Tzu wasn't well known in ancient Greece.
Hippolyta: Who?
Batman: An ancient philosopher/military tactician; he wrote The Art of War, a treatise on military tactics still relevant today. One of his principles explained the use of terrain to neutralize the advantage of numbers or superior equipment.

(after Batman set off an explosive in destroying a column of Kree tanks)
Hippolyta: I must remember to read this treatise you speak of.

John Stewart: Dammit, Lobo, wait for backup!
Lobo: No chance, Greeny! Rone's ass is mine, so stay the FRAG outta my way!

Lobo: You made one FRAGGIN' big mistake here, Rone! It wasn't tryin' to frag that big-ass Battlestation out there, which, in the Main Man's opinion, was pretty fraggin' dumb! (punches Ronan) It wasn't tryin' to get fanboy and Zood to give up their tech, which is even tougher than tryin' to get a Trintian priest-girl to spread her legs! (headbutts Ronan) It wasn't even goin' up against Zood, who's probably the second-nastiest S.O.B. this side of the Cluster, next to Lobo himself! (sticks a plasma rifle under Ronan's chin) No, Rone, your mistake was breakin' the biggest rule in the whole fraggin' 'verse! Don't EVER double-cross the Main Man.

Reed Richards: Sue, I still think it would be best if you stayed with the ship…
Susan Storm: God, Reed, does every man on the planet lose 50 IQ points when babies are concerned? You're really going to ask your pregnant wife to stay behind, all alone on a ship full of hostile infantry?
Ben Grimm: She's gotcha there, Stretch.
Corsair: Take my advice, Doc; I've been in your shoes. Never argue with a pregnant lady; it never ends well.

Winema Wazzo: Do you always wage war in so grandiose a manner?
General Zod: Only when aroused.

Johnny Storm: Dang. For a grump, Big Z's pretty smooth.

Havok: So…we're sure D'Ken's here, Big Z?
General Zod: Cardinal rule of warfare, boy: know more about your enemy's psychological makeup than he does. At his most basic level, D'Ken is a coward; he surrounds himself with those that do his dirty-work for him – find the largest collection of subordinates, and you find him.

D'Ken: NOTHING is over! It does not matter what stars you cower before, or what army of machines you hide behind, Kryptonian scum! Our Empire will reign supreme!
General Zod: You think that is how I beat you, today? Simply because of our technology, or the sun? You're that deluded, are you? Very well; let's test that.

General Zod: So for once in your mewling, spoiled, useless little life…fight like a MAN.

D'Ken: You will not disgrace us again! NOT AGAIN! You will kneel before me, OR YOU WILL DIE!
General Zod: Zod does not kneel to lesser men! Lesser men! Kneel! Before ZOD!

Veranke: Wretched! Arrogant! Insufferable! KRYPTONIANS! All alike, each ONE of you!

Veranke: Now, wench, you will surrender…
(Power Girl headbutts Veranke)
Power Girl: What was that? You sound kinda nasal!

Superman: Commander Kl'rt, which I'm guessing makes you the Skrull Empress. Well, this saves time; I'm here to discuss terms for surrender.
Veranke: O-Our terms are simple, Kryptonian: you will surrender control of this outpost…
Superman: Oh, I'm sorry – I wasn't clear. I meant your surrender.
Kl'rt: You…you cannot bluff us, filth! There is no way you could have possibly brought Sentrius here!
Superman: I never lie, Skrull, especially not about something like this. And if you knew anything about us from our peoples' history, it's that we Kryptonians have a way of doing the impossible. One more time: surrender, and you all get to walk away.

Power Girl: So you show up with a Battlestation, a couple of Superdreadnoughts, and a WarBot, and completely clobber an invading army? If I didn't know better, I'd almost say you were trying to impress me.
Superman: Hey, it's all in a day's work for a Station-Commander.


Previous chapter:
"The Search for Sentrius"
Chapters of
The Last Son, Book Three: Changes
Next chapter:
"When Heroes Fall"

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